Catch 22
by 105maddie105
Summary: Stephanie Plum is in trouble again. She has to track down a human trafficker and a serial arsonist. She has to keep Grandma out of jail. She has to keep a mysterious M out of Ranger's hair. And, she has to help the CIA. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

"Stop!"I yelled, chasing after my skip, David Moore. For a 65 year old, he was really fast. Of course, it didn't help that I was in heels. We were at the Senior Center and I was trying to be real civil about his arrest. Then, he took off.

My name is Stephanie Plum and this is unfortunately a part of my job. Chasing down people, getting my car blown to bits, and finding dead bodies are all part of my job as a bail bond agent. As you can imagine, it's not the safest job. But, my Italian Hungarian heritage, curly brown hair, and blue eyes can get me out of some situations. Dumb luck gets me out of the rest.

Like now. I was extremely lucky when a nurse came out of a linen closet and David ran into the cart she was pushing around. I cuffed him and hustled him out of the Senior Center. Lula was waiting in the car.

Lula was an ex-ho' and still dressed that way. Spandex and neon took up about 90 percent of her wardrobe. She changes her hair color about twice monthly, if not more. Today, her hair was firetruck red and matched her short red Spandex skirt and black shirt. Her red pumps went right along with the whole outfit.

"Thank god. I thought I was going to die from heat stroke."she complained, as I stuffed David in the back of her Firebird. It was hot July in Trenton. I got in and she drove to the police station. Five minutes later, we went to the bail bond office with a body receipt.

"Poor old man. I feel bad that he forgot his court date. You would think the receptionist would remind him about it."Lula said, sitting on the couch on her phone.

"Hey, at least I got pizza money."I said, collecting the cash from Connie.

"Joe called while you were out. He wants to meet you for lunch."Connie said. I sighed.

Joe Morelli was my on-off boyfriend. He was plainclothes cop, who had chocolate brown eyes that could make a girl melt. He was from Italian heritage and comes from a huge family of weirdos and crazies. Then again, he could say the same thing about my family.

I hiked up my messenger bag and got into my 2003 Toyota Camry. I was proud that this car has made it two weeks. Normally, I keep a car for an hour or two and it's blown up. Another occupational hazard. But, at the moment, I was bringing in easy skips and avoiding the jackpot of the month: Alonzo Costa.

Alonzo was found smuggling Russians and Slavs into the country via his deep sea fishing company. Normally, this was a feds job. But, it was turned over to the Trenton police when the judge released him on bail. Now, the police had hit a dead end and it was Vinnie's problem now. Which made it my problem. Which I was avoiding.

Morelli was already in a booth when I went into Pino's. I slid into the booth across from him.

"How's business, Cupcake?"he asked.

"Good. Took down David Moore today. I'll pay for dinner tonight."

"Sounds like a deal. Two meatball subs and two beers."he ordered when the waitress came up. It was surprisingly quiet between us.

"Something's wrong."I said.

"No. Nothing's wrong."

"You're lying." He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands.

"I need you to find Alonzo." I looked at him in shock. Normally, he wanted me to avoid all this bounty hunter stuff. But, now, he was coming to me for help.

"Why?"I asked between bites of meatball subs.

"Because he's a slippery bastard. Because he's a criminal. Because I'll lose my job if he's not in prison. Take your pick, Cupcake."

"Wait, they threatened to fire you?"

"Yeah. And, I need this job or else Bob and I will go homeless."

"You can always stay with me." The thought of big shaggy Bob living in my teeny tiny apartment made him laugh.

"Tempting but no. Bob needs a backyard and lots of space."

"Alright." I said, pulling his file out of my messenger bag. I ran all the addresses and relatives past Morelli.

"All dead ends." he said miserably.

"Any close co-workers? Any boats missing?" I asked. Morelli shrugged. I sighed.

"Talk Ranger into helping you."

"He's busy." My phone buzzed and I got a text from Ranger. _I'm never too busy for you babe. Now, get out of there. _it said. I looked around the restaurant. Hal nodded at me from the bar and I grabbed Morelli's hand and we left. Five minutes later, the building was surrounded by Rangeman men. As soon as Hal left the restaurant with more civilians, it blew up.

"Damn it. They had to blow up Pino's."Morelli said, annoyed.

"Babe."Ranger said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

Ranger is almost Batman. He's all muscle, he wears all black, and he's all single. Today, he was in his normal attire. Tight Rangeman shirt, black pants, and black shoes.

"So, what's this about?"I asked.

"He can't tell you. This is a CIA operation."a woman said, approaching Ranger, her head buried in an iPad. She was in her early twenties, with pitch black hair and computing grey eyes that was consumed in huge glasses. She looked like she was from a Irish-German heritage. She was in a blue business suit that was showing about two inches of cleavage. Ranger rolled his eyes. Morelli looked her over, all confused.

"Steph, Joe, this is M. She's a CIA forensic anthropologist and investigator." he introduced.

"Nice to meet you. Ranger, I know she's on your confidentiality list but I rather debrief her about the situation." she said. Ranger nodded and I was a bit surprised. Ranger doesn't like it when he's not in charge. It must be weird for him to take orders from a girl about five years younger than him.

"Debrief me? On what?"I asked. The news station van was pulling up and M groaned in annoyance.

"I'll have to tell you later. Meet at Rangeman in about twenty minutes. Oh, and sorry about your car. We'll reimburse you for the damages."she said, walking up to the news van.

"My car?" I turned around to see a huge CIA van had rear ended my car. I sighed in relief. As long as it wasn't blown up, I was fine with a broken tail light and a dent in the bumper.

"Her names M? That's it? Just the letter M?"Morelli questioned.

"It's a cover name. We have a bet at Rangeman going on whether it's short for Miranda or for Madison."Tank said. I laughed as Morelli put $10 in the pool, betting on Miranda. He kissed me and headed back to the station.

Twenty minutes later, I was in Ranger's suite on the seventh floor of the Rangeman building. Normally, Ranger's apartment was all neat and organized. Now, there was a bed where the living room should be and his kitchen table had more computers than the police station. M was at the computers, going from one to another.

"Babe."Ranger said from behind me. He was annoyed. This was his private sanctum, his fortress of solitude. Now, a CIA girl was living here too. M looked up from the computers and pointed to a seat at the table for me to sit down in.

"Alright. I'm going to make this brief because I had to Skype my superior soon. All along the East Coast, there's been accounts of arson in almost every major town. Normally, we would dismiss this as normal crimes for these cities. But, we noticed a trail and it leads right to New York. We're trying to catch the scum bag before he reaches there."she said rapid fire, showing me the map she had. The trail was marked with red X's and it started in Florida and went up the coast.

"We've tried to catch him in Richmond and Baltimore but he's a slippery thing. My superior sent me here to work with Rangeman and the police to try to stop them."she said.

"How come this hasn't been on the news?" I asked.

"It has but the CIA gives them fake stories, like it was a drug addict that did it or that it was just a stupid teenager. We haven't told anymore that the arsons are related."she explained. Smart girl. Too smart.

"Why do you need my help?"I asked.

"Ranger says that you're good at this sort of stuff. Hunting people down and forcing them out of hiding. The police force even recommends you." I looked at Ranger. Again, dumb luck. She got a Skype call and shooed us into Ranger's bedroom. She needed her privacy.

"She's driving me insane. She's only been here three days and already she has taken over my apartment."he said, sitting on the bed.

"So, I'm guessing you put me on this list, not so I can help, but so I can get her out of your hair."I guessed. The corners of his mouth twitched and his eyes were like melted chocolate.

"I would love you forever if you did that." I rolled my eyes. Of course he would.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat across the table from M. We were at the mall, scoping out the place and getting to know each other. It was a struggle convincing her to leave Rangeman, but she eventually did leave. I convinced her it was for public safety purposes. If I was a serial arsonist, I would hit the mall. It would do the most damage and hurt the most people. Weird way to think, but M bought it. So, we were at the food court, her enjoying her salad and me enjoying a corn dog. She was busy tapping away at her phone.

"So, where you from?"I asked. She smiled.

"A small town in Massachusetts."she replied.

"Is it nice?"

"Beautiful." Awkward.

"So, how old are you?"

"I'm 24."

"Wow. And, you're working with the CIA. Impressive. What made you go into the CIA?"

"My father." She sounded pretty bitter about that.

"That's not what you wanted to do?"

"No. I wanted to major in theater." I was bit shocked by this.

"So, you're dad talked you out of it?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Spoilers." she said with a smile. My cell phone rang. It was Connie.

"I got a new skip for you. Miriam Spier. The poor old lady got caught peeking into the men's dressing room at the mall and got arrested. Once one guy reported her, a bunch more did so she was taken to court. Easy money. She's nice and sweet."Connie reported.

"Thanks Connie. We'll pick it up in a minute."I told her. M looked at me expectantly.

"I just got assigned an FTA. Wanna help me take her in?"I asked. M nodded and we left the mall to get to the bail bonds office.

"Who's this?"Lula asked when M and I walked in together. M seemed a bit taken back by Lula.

"Her name's M. She's working at Rangeman part time."I lied.

"Rangeman? Well, you're the only girl I've seen work at Rangeman. How do you live with all those men without taking their clothes off?"Lula asked. M laughed. But, it was a legit question. Rangeman men were just like Ranger: all muscle, all single, and all hot. It's hard to look at them like colleagues.

"I'm ex-Air Force. I've learned to control myself."M said. We all laughed.

"So, why were you assigned to Stephanie?"Connie asked.

"Ranger thought I needed protection from Alonzo. If I tried to take him down alone, I might end up on a boat to Russia. So, M's here as back up."I told them.

"Girl, I'm your back up. She's the backup's backup."Lula said, sounding insulted. I looked at Lula then I looked at M. While Lula was my friend, as a backup partner, she was unreliable. She nearly let me and my grandma get buried in cement to chase a giraffe. While I didn't know M all too well, she seemed much more responsible.

Vinnie poked his head out of the office.

"Enough of the chit chat. Find me Alonzo. He's a big ticket item and we both need the money. So, you and your hot friend need to go track him down. Now."he ordered, shutting his door with a slam.

Vinnie is my sleaze ball of a cousin. He has a very sweet wife and a scary father in law. He's into S&M and animal sex and sleeps with just about anyone.

I rolled my eyes and took Miriam's file. M and I got into my Camry and we took off towards Miriam's home in the Burg.

The Burg is a family neighborhood in Trenton with small houses and even smaller yards. Everything is identical and it's a nice place to raise a family. I'm from the Burg; Joe's from the Burg. Almost everyone is Trenton is from the Burg. So, I wasn't surprised when Miriam's home address was about three houses down from my parents. I knocked on the door and Miriam answered, a big Rottweiler growling at us.

"Hi, Mrs. Miriam. I'm Stephanie Plum from the bails bond agency. You need to reschedule your court date."I told her politely.

"But, Dr. Phil's on. I can't miss Dr. Phil."she complained.

"It'll only take about five seconds."I promised. She shook her head and whistled. The Rottweiler sprang into action. I was halfway back to my car when I noticed that M wasn't with me. She was still on the front porch, petting the Rottweiler.

"You have a great dog. I grew up with a Rottweiler and it was very sweet, just like this one."she said. The Rottweiler licked her cheek and M giggled.

"Well, thank you kindly. He was a police dog but then they switched to German Shepherds and gave them all away. He's adorable and very protective. I haven't had anyone try to rob me with Bear around."Miriam explained.

"That's great. Look, we're make you a deal. We'll walk Bear for you and you can finish watching Dr. Phil. Then, after that, we can reschedule your court date."M proposed.

"That would be amazing. He needs to be walked."she agreed. M was handed the leash and doggie bags and we took Bear for a walk.

"You're not scared of him?"I asked.

"No. Dogs don't scare me. One my first assignments was to break up a dog fighting ring. The dogs were so sweet that I kept one. I have a Pitbull back home."she said. Bear was excitedly peeing and pooping on almost everyone's yard, much to my dismay.

"Where's back home?"I asked.

"A small apartment in Washington. I'm rarely there though. I'm mostly on assignments all over the country and sometimes in Germany."she said.

"Germany?"

"I minored in German in college so sometimes I get assigned there if an American gets hurt or captured or something. Beautiful country." This girl was really weird.

She got back to Miriam's house after walking Bear for thirty minutes. Miriam got in the back of my car and we rescheduled her court date. I got my body receipt and got my money. I called Morelli.

"Got more money for dinner tonight. Where do you wanna go?"I asked.

"I would say Pino's but Pino's got blown up. How about you order Chinese and meet me a home? I'm going to be a little late."he said.

"Alright. See you then."I replied. He hung up and I sighed.

"Come on. Let's go see if we can find Alonzo."M said, reading his file. I looked in my messenger bag. Not there.

"You took it out of my bag?"

"Yep."she said, heading out the door. I sighed and followed her. Lula followed me.

"I can't fit back here. This is embarrassing."Lula complained from the backseat. M switched spots with her and we took off to check his relatives again. After about an hour of checking, I dropped Lula off at her car and M off at the Rangeman. I immediately got a call from Ranger.

"You couldn't keep her longer?"

"Ranger, it's 6 o'clock. You can handle her until eight tomorrow."

"Babe."he said, annoyed. He disconnected and I drove to Morellis. I have an apartment on the north side of Trenton but at the moment, a pain in the ass Briggs and two Chihuahuas were living there. So, I was at Morelli's until Briggs found an apartment.

I ordered Chinese and turned on the game, letting Bob into the backyard. He then came in and sat in my lap, trying to be a lap dog. Bob was a big hairy and drooly Golden Retriever. I tossed his ball and he went chasing after it. I put the Chinese on the counter and five minutes later, Morelli came in. He kissed me and hung up his gun.

"How'd it go today?"he asked.

"Got Miriam after lunch. Checked on Alonzo's relatives again. His mom is still on "vacation" and his brother is not to be found."I said, annoyed.

"Bummer."he said. I shrugged. I was just glad that nothing blew up. Morelli brought me close to him and kissed my temple. Then, he trailed to my ear. Then, to my neck. Uh oh.

Then, my cell phone rang. Morelli sighed.

"The arsonist struck again. Tank is on his way to get you."M reported. Then, she disconnected. How did she get my number?

"Sorry. I'll have to get a rain check."I said, kissing his lips. He rolled his eyes.

"Cupcake, you've rain checked me so many times. You owe me."he said.

"What did you have in mind?"I asked.

"Crazy animal sex and lingerie. And, possibly whip cream."

Sounds tempting.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I'm trying to write this like Janet Evanovich so there will be Morelli moment and there will be Ranger moments. I'm not shipping either Cupcake or Babe.**

I sat on the curb, watching M and Ranger do their thing. M was all business, again. But, she was in Rangeman black instead of her normal stuff. I could tell that she just threw whatever was available on.

"Babe."Ranger said, sitting beside me. M snapped her gloves off and gave plastic bags to these guys in lab coats.

"At least you found something this time."I said.

"Whoever it is, they're getting sloppy. Unless it's planted evidence. Then, we're screwed."he commented.

"You don't seem happy about this."

"I'm not. She's driving me crazy. And, there's more betting than ever at Rangeman. The guys are all trying to impress her to get her to sleep with them."

"She's not that bad."

"I'll give you 50 bucks if you let her live with you and Morelli."

"Ranger, seriously. She's not that bad."

"100 bucks. And, a whole new wardrobe." I sighed. I could use some news clothes.

"Deal."

"No. I can deal with one woman living with me. I don't think I can handle two. That's WAY too much estrogen." Morelli said as M started moving in. M was basically a duffle bag of her clothes and then a whole truck full of computers.

"What's your WiFi password?"she asked from her iPad as she moved into the spare guest room. Morelli rubbed his head and I passed him the Advil.

"She'll be fine here. She's normally with me all day. You won't even notice." I told him. He gave me a look and I bit my lip and batted my eyelashes. Morelli sighed.

"Cupcakes121."he called back to M. I kissed his cheek and went to take a shower before bed.

Morelli and I were relaxing in bed when M knocked on the door.

"Hey. Can you show me how to use your coffee maker?"M asked. Morelli groaned and I got out of bed to show her. I was in sweats and a big tee shirt, while M was in matching blue striped pajamas.

"Sorry. I know I'm a burden."she said.

"No. Not at all. Morelli doesn't mind."I told her.

"So, what's the deal with you two? Fiances? Friends?"she asked. I blushed.

"Sort of fiances, sort of not. We both like each other but we're not big on commitment." I told her. She nodded.

"Cool. Kinda like my man back home." I nearly dropped the cup in my hand.

"You got a man?" I shouldn't be that surprised. She's smart and beautiful and a badass. Every guy's dream. She probably even knows how to cook. But, still. M smiles and blushes.

"Yeah. His name is J. He's in the Marines and is stationed over seas."

"God bless." I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with a military person. Well, I guess Ranger counts. He's about as close as military as I got. All the wanting but can't have. I got covered in goosebumps remembering the last time I was with Ranger.

"Cheers mate." she said as we clinked glasses together.

"So, what's it like? Dating a marine?"I asked. She sighed.

"You're lonely a good bit of the time. We Skype every now and again but he's really busy. He's not in infantry. He's a welder. But, still, he's really busy. But, he comes home about every three months for two weeks and it's just me and him and...he's so sweet."she explained, gazing out the window. I sighed. I could tell that she really loved him. I never had a relationship like that. Yeah, there were feelings there for both Morelli and Ranger but was it love?

"High school sweethearts?"I asked. She nodded. Wow. Lucky girl.

"Good night Stephanie."she said as I walked up the stairs to bed.

"Good night M."I replied. I crawled in between Morelli and Bob, both of whom were already sleeping.

"She's powered by nuclear energy. She was in that same position when we went to bed last night."Morelli said as we ate muffins M got. M smiled.

"I walked Bob for you and got you muffins. Don't question me."she said. Morelli shook his head and I laughed. I can see how M could belong at Rangeman. She walked three miles this morning.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?"I asked.

"I have to go to New York to get my lab results. Your lab is majorly lacking the forensic's department. Ranger sent over a car. That should take a whole day so I'll be back tonight for dinner."M reported.

"I'm going with you to track down Alonzo."Morelli said. I was a bit surprised by this. Morelli wasn't one to tag along.

"Isn't it your day off?"M asked.

"Did you background check me?"

"Yep. I do it with everyone. Stephaine, you have a ton of blown up cars." Morelli laughed and I glared at her. A Rangeman SUV honked its horn and M left.

"So, it's your day off."I told him.

"Yeah, but I'm serious about Alonzo. They gave me a deadline now. We have to turn him in by the end of the week."Morelli said, grabbing his gun that was hanging up by the door. I sighed and we hopped in Morelli's car. We drove down to Stark Street and scoped out the neighborhood. We checked all his relatives again and their neighbors and those neighbors neighbors.

By lunch, I was exhausted. I needed a lunch and a nap. But, Morelli was in cop mode. He wasn't going to stop. So, I went to Ranger's to check on the arsonist's while Morelli continued to find an informant about Alonzo. I entered Ranger's apartment and crashed on his couch.

"Babe."Ranger said when he came in. I groaned and he shook his head.

"I thought M was crazy. When Morelli is motivated enough, he won't stop until the jobs done. He's crazy."I told him, sitting up. He sat beside me and twirled a piece of my hair between his fingers. I bit my lip to keep my hormones under control.

"How's the arsonist hunt going?"I asked.

"M hasn't texted me the forensics results. So, we're in limbo."he said. I sighed.

"I need to do something. Anything. I'm getting antsy."I informed. Suddenly, his lips were on mine and he had his hand up my shirt. I pulled back and his eyes were dark. He smiled.

"I got something we could do."he said. Uh oh. We began to make out when his cell phone rang. He sighed and answered. It was M. He rubbed his temples while she was talking.

"Okay. See you then."he said. He looked at me.

"We're going to New York."


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey guys." M said, opening the door to the car. We got out and followed her through the front door. M put her eye up to a scanner and the elevator opened. She pushed the fourteenth floor button and we waited in the elevator. The doors opened and we walked through the floor, M swiping her card multiple times to get in her office.

"Wow."I said when I was patted down. M patted down Ranger and took all the guns and knives that were on his person. Ranger shrugged and M sat at her desk.

"Alright. The DNA results are back. And, we've double checked them." she said, bringing up the results. She turned the screen around.

"BernhardGeorgios Amsing. Age 26. From Tallahassee, Florida. Single. 6 foot 1 inches tall. 250 pounds. Black hair. Green eyes. There's an 83% match." she said rapid fire, typing on another computer. Ranger studied the guy and I sat back in the chair.

"He should be fairly easy to find." Ranger said, very annoyed.

"Unless he's a fall guy. Or, if he has an accomplice. This may take a while." M groaned, rubbing her temples. This was the only time I've seen her stressed.

"Is there a tracking device on his phone?" I asked.

"He one of the few Americans that don't own a phone. Not even a flip phone. It's insane." M replied. She picked up her office phone and listened. We stayed silent. She rolled her eyes.

"Yes sir." she simply said. She hung up and looked at us.

"My superior will be here in about two minutes."

M stood up from her desk as the door opened. We were to sit in the chair and be silent. An old man, maybe 53, came in. He had greying hair and blue eyes the same color as M. She stood at attention and saluted him. He saluted back.

"M." he said.

"A." she replied. They sat down. You could cut the tension with a knife. It was like a Men in Black movie.

"Debrief me." he requested.

"We have evidence to believe that BernhardGeorgios Amsing is the arsonist. There was a 83% DNA match. We plan on searching Trenton, along with a five miles extra radius around the city, including any suburbs. I'm having G scan all Internet and WiFi connections in the city to track down his laptop." she replied, showing him the screen. He nodded to all she was saying.

"What kind of man power do you need?" he asked.

"About three five person squads, G, I, and K for intel, one unidentified van, and complete access to Rangeman and police files." she said, crossing her arms. A thought about it and ran his hand through his hair.

"Done." he said, standing up. She stood up and they saluted each other.

"Be safe." he muttered as he left. M sighed. So, I was right. That was her father.

We were back in Trenton at eight at night. I went to Morelli's with M. M immediately went to her computer, never stop working. I hugged her and went to the living room with Morelli.

"Sorry I left. Important CIA arsonist stuff." I said. He shrugged, looking disappointed. He didn't have any luck either. My cell phone ran.

"Leave me alone, Plum. You're getting way over your head." a voice said. I instantly put it on speaker phone.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"You won't live to find out." he said, hanging up. Something came crashing through the kitchen window.

"Shit!" M yelled, throwing it back and jumping over the couch. The explosion happened a second later. All three of us looked at each other. Morelli and M went running when they heard car tires screech away. I stood there a minute before going outside.

"We didn't get the plate numbers." M reported. I looked at my car. It was exploded. I sighed. So much for that car. I thought. Morelli rubbed my back, as M was making phone calls.

"We're going to reimburse you for the car. I promise." she said. Fire trucks came up and worked on putting the car fire out.

"Do you think it was Alonzo or Bernhard?" Morelli asked. I shrugged. It honestly had no idea.

"Well, Stephanie, I recommend we go to Rangeman for a couple of days. Obviously they know that we're living here." M said. I nodded. That sounded like a good idea.

I was crashing with Ranger, while M was crashing in Tank's apartment. He had his own apartment outside of Rangeman so M took over his Rangeman apartment. I sat on Ranger's couch. Him and Morelli were talking in the kitchen. Morelli came over and kissed me before leaving. He was going back home to watch Bob. When he left, Ranger came and wrapped a protective arm around me.

"Babe. You're watching infomercials and haven't talked since you've come in." he said.

"It was such a good car." I sighed, putting my elbows on my knees. He chuckled and I went to take a shower.

I came out of the showers, my hair wrapped in a towel, Rangeman shirt and pantires on. I went to settle in on the couch. I stopped when I heard M and Ranger arguing.

"I can't take you being here anymore." Ranger simply said.

"Ranger, I know this is inconvenient for both of us. The faster we find Bernhard, the faster I'll leave." M replied. They stayed silent.

"Can you at least give me some respect? And, stop acting like you run the place?" Ranger asked.

"I respect you more than you know." M replied. The door opened and closed. I stepped out to see Ranger about to pull his hair out at the kitchen table. I sat across from him and just stared. He sighed and kissed me from across the table. It was hot and passionate and full of tongue. Then, we went into the bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

My phone kept ringing. Ranger rolled over and answered it for me. I groaned and put my head on his chest. He kissed the top of my head and ran his hand through my brown curly wild locks.

"Yes, Mrs. Plum. I'll drop her off in a minute." he said, hanging up. I looked up at him.

"Your mother wants you to know that they cooked bacon." he reported. I groaned and got dresses for the day. When I came back into the bedroom, Ranger was gone. I sighed. It was always like this. One night stands were Ranger's thing. He would hit it, then go. I sighed and sat on the bed. I pulled out one of his shirts and smelled it. Why is my love life so complicated? I thought. I then got up and drove to my mother's.

"Good morning." I said, coming into the house. Mom was ironing, dad was gone on his taxi drives, and Grandma Mauzer was in the kitchen, handcuffed to the chair. My family was normal, I swear. My mom is normally very sweet, when things weren't stressing her out. My dad is like every other dad: sit at home, watch TV, and not worry about you at all. My grandma...well, she normally wasn't handcuffed to the chair. I waved at her and she waved back. I then went up to my mother.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Mom always irons when she's stressed or worried. It takes her mind off things.

"Get your grandmother under control. The only reason she's not in a retirement home right now is because I took two shots of Jack before she got home." she snapped. I threw my hands up in self defense and walked over to grandma.

"What's up?" I asked, sitting down beside her.

"She's got her panties in a twist because I got arrested for driving without a license." grandma reported.

"No! Not only did you drive without a license, but you also hit Alonzo Costa! Now, he's going to track us down and kill us all!" my mom yelled from her ironing board. I picked up my cell phone when they said Alonzo.

"Are you sure it was Alonzo Costa?" I asked.

"Yeah. Tall. Dark. A bit handsome. Looks like he does in the news reports. Do you want to hear the whole story? It was awesome! I got him real good!" Grandma asked. I held up my hand and called Morelli. He would need this for his investigation.

Morelli was at the door in two point three seconds.

"Where is she?" he asked immediately. I pointed to the dining room and he walked in there. When my mom saw Morelli, she freaked out.

"Stephanie! Did you call the cops?!" mom yelled. I shushed her and calmed her down, handing her a glass of wine. Morelli sat on one side of Grandma and I sat on the other. He pulled out a pad and pen.

"Alright. I need you to tell me everything." he stated.

"Well, I was driving along and minding my own business when this huge semi pulled out of this alley and took off down the street. I went over the curb to avoid hitting it and Alonzo was coming out of the building at the same time and BOOM! I hit him by accident. Two guys picked him up and put him in a black van, but he was yelling really crude things at me. I think I broke his leg. The van sped off to keep up with the semi." Grandma explained, acting it out. I handed Morelli the Advil and bacon. It was going to be a long day.

"So, this is the building?" Morelli asked as we drove to the scene of the crime.

"Yep." Grandma said. Morelli pulled out his gun and went to the door. He knocked on the door and then let himself in. He came back to the car ten minutes later, phoning the police station.

"Thank you." he told Grandma as girl after girl started filing out of the building. I watched them file into the police van, tears streaming down their face, looking so relieved to be out of that nightmare. I wiped a tear away. They were safe now.

"The problem is now is that we have to question them and none of them speak English." Morelli said, wrapping his arms around me. I thought about and then called M.

M came out of the interrogation room, handing Morelli her notepad. They found a few German girls among the Russians and Slavs. M interrogated all of them. I smiled and went to get my car keys.

"Hey, Joe, do you wanna..." I started. But, then, stopped. There was M and Morelli, kissing. I turned around and left before they even knew I was there.

"Are you okay?" Lula asked when I walked into the office. Connie stopped and looked up at me.

"M and Morelli kissed." I said, sitting on the couch, pulling my legs up to my chest. Lula rubbed my back.

"I wouldn't worry about it Steph. How many girls do you think he's sleeping with behind your back?" Connie asked. I didn't want to think about it. But, she had a point. Morelli could be sleeping around like crazy and I wouldn't know about it. And, if he is, I wouldn't be able to call him out about it. I slept with Ranger last night!

"Girl, you should watch out for that girl. She is fifty shades of mysterious. I wouldn't trust her." Lula said, a bit jealous. I sighed.

"But, we were doing so good. It felt like normal life, you know?"I snifled out. Lula nodded and rubbed my back. When did things get complicated? Was it when M showed up? No. I can't really blame M. She's so nice and friendly. But, what if it's all just a ruse? A clever disguise. It could be but, I didn't want to believe it. Maybe Lula was right.

I had to be careful around M.

I was spending the night with my parents tonight. I just needed some family time. I needed to get away from men. I laid on my bed and just stared at the ceiling. I felt like my world had been flipped upside down in a split second. My phone rang and I answered it.

"Babe. Are you okay? You didn't come back with M." Ranger asked.

"I'm fine. I'm just gonna stay here tonight." I told him.

"Babe." he replied. I hung up and just stared at the ceiling. I was depressed.

"Steph. Joe's here." mom called from downstairs. I sighed and sat up. I wanted to crawl out the window like I did in high school. But, I guess I needed to be an adult and talk to him. He knocked on my door and came in.

"Are you okay, cupcake?" he asked, sitting beside me. I felt my heart stop. I had a dilema. Should I just be frank with him and tell him what I saw? Or, should I lie and bottle these emotions? Or, should I not talk at all?

"Cupcake?" he asked again. I looked at him.

"I saw you kiss M." I admitted. He seemed a bit taken back and just stared at me.

"Steph, you have to understand that it was just a rush of the moment kiss. One of the girls knew where they were going next. I just got excited that I wasn't going to lose my job so...I kissed her. Steph, you know I would never hurt you on purpose." he said softly, stroking my cheek. I swatted his hand away.

"Joe, do you sleep with other people?" I asked.

"No. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know Joe! Beacuse, it's who you are. The Lady's Man. Mr. Smooth. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. That's just who you are." I yelled. He took a deep breath and just looked at me.

"Steph, that's who I was when I was in high school and in my early twenties. I don't do that now. All my wild oats have been sown." he told me. I shook my head. I couldn't believe it. He sighed and stood up.

"I don't want to argue right now. But, I do want to say this. Final statement. I haven't slept with anyone but you in the past two years. I'll see you later." he said, closing the door behind him.

What have I done?


	6. Chapter 6

"Get out." I said, slamming the door to my apartment behind me. Briggs jumped up from my bed and the Chihuahuas began barking like crazy. I really wanted to punt one of them.

"Steph. You know it's like, three in the morning." Briggs yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"I don't care. Pack your things and get out. I want my apartment back." I demanded, packing his things back into his duffel bag.

"You're angry. What's wrong?" he asked. Briggs had his good side and he had his bad side. He also has Napoleon syndrome so he's in a bad mood most of the time. I caught him in a good mood. I sighed.

"Men." was all I said. He nodded and grabbed his duffel bag.

"I'll leave my dogs here and sleep in a hotel tonight. I have two apartments to look at tomorrow. Get a good night sleep. Then, take this energy and kick ass." he said. I smiled and he left. I laid in my bed and fell asleep.

It was ten in the morning when I woke up to the smell of coffee and the Chihuahuas barking. I sat up and went into the kitchen. It was M.

"Hi." was all she said, passing me a cup of coffee. I took it and fixed it the way I liked it. We sat at my table in silence for ten minutes.

"I understand that you're mad at me. I'm extremely sorry." she apologized. I shrugged.

"Men." I said. We clinked mugs and I gathered my purse. I was ready to find Alonzo.

M drives like a maniac. She goes at least ten miles over the speed limit, but somehow, all the lights synched up with her car. I held on to the "oh-shit" handle and mentally pushed brakes in the floorboard.

"Calm down will you? I'm a good driver. Get out of the way ass hole!" she screamed, honking her horn. I slid down in my chair, hiding my face. Ranger called my cell.

"She's a crazy driver."I said.

"Babe." he replied then disconnected.

"Alright. Let's go to his mother's first."

I knocked on the door, as M lapped around the house, checking windows and other doors. I ringed the doorbell and M answered the door.

"The crawl space was open. I have bad news." she said.

Morelli was on the police response team. Alonzo's mother was found decaying in her basement. I watched as the put her in a body bag and took her to the morgue.

"She's been dead for about two weeks. Around the time Alonzo bailed." M said, pulling her gloves off. She was a forensic anthropologist so she was good at this dead people stuff.

"Damn it. Did Alonzo kill her? To get rid of some evidence?" Morelli asked. M shrugged. He looked at me then sighed and went back to the police station.

"That was tense." I told her, shaking it off. She rubbed my back. Then, we went to his brothers.

"Damn it!" Morelli yelled when we found Alonzo's brother dead too.

"So, we're left to assume that Alonzo killed both his mother and his brother so no one can turn him in. Then, he went off the charts." M speculated, tapping furiously on her iPad. A van pulled up and a CIA tech got out.

"K." M said.

"M. We have located Bernhard's laptop. He was on the Starbuck's wifi five minutes ago." K reported. M grabbed her hand and they sped off in the van for Starbucks. Leaving me with M's car, but no car keys. I was stuck at the crime scene with Morelli. We looked at each other then I got in his police cruiser.

The car ride was intense silence. We didn't talk and it was awkward. He pulled up to the Starbucks to see the whole place under CIA control. M was all over the place like a busy bee.

"Did you catch him?" I asked G. He shook his head as he leaned against the van. I sighed and looked for M. Baristas and customer's stood on the sidewalk. I walked up to this one lady who looked twitchy.

"Are you alright, ma'am?" I asked. Next thing I know, we're wrestling on the floor.

"Coffee. Need coffee." she kept repeating as she tried to bash my face in. A barista pulled her off of me and Morelli helped me up. K came over and tried to get my nose to stop bleeding.

"I'm so sorry ma'am. She normally orders a triple shot Chai Latte around this time and she's a bit off her rocker without her coffee." the barista explained. I just sighed and sat on the curb. The barista gave me a Starbucks gift card with $50 dollars on it to repay for the customers behavior.

Then, the store across from Starbucks blew up.

"I want him found and I want him found now! Plan G-578!" M yelled as Morelli asked for the fire department. CIA agents hustled pedestrians out of the way and they went in all directions, looking for Berhard. I stood up and looked around. A piece of paper was pinned on the window beside the burning building. I picked up and read it. _Catch me if you can._ it said, with a picture of the gingerbread man in the corner. I showed it to M. She crumbled it up and threw it away.

"This day was a disappointment." M said, rubbing her eyes as we sat in Ranger's apartment. I agreed and sat beside her. Alonzo's family was dead and Bernherd was playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse. Ranger gave us two cups of tea as we wallowed in self pity.

"We need to regroup and retrace our steps. We need to triple our efforts. We need...we need..." M started.

"_You_ need to take a nap. My men and your teams are all over the city. If he so much as breaths, we'll know about it. You need to rest." Ranger said, acting like a protective big brother. He helped her up and locked her in his bedroom. She knocked on the door a couple of times but then, she fell asleep.

"What's up with you and her?" I asked. He looked at me and then at the door.

"Confidential." he said.

"Can I guess?" He shrugged as a response. "Cousins? Half-siblings? Past lovers?" He smiled and left me hanging. I sighed. Why were men so complicated? My phone rang and I answered it.

"Stephanie. We're in trouble." my mom said.

Ranger and I pulled up to my parents house, which had a spray painted message in the tiny yard. _FU._ it read. I sighed as Grandma waved to us.

"Wild guess. Alonzo or one of his cronies." I said.

"Damn right." Grandma replied, licking her lips and looking at Ranger.

"I'll inform K about it."

"Wait, is Alonzo a CIA case now too?"

"No. But, M is about elbow deep in it now so her teams are doing two jobs at once. Her orders" I sighed and shook my head. I hated when people spent money trying to help me.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" I asked.

"Would you like to stay forever?" Grandma asked. I sent her a look and Ranger smiled.

"I would love to, but I have a company to run." he replied. I rolled my eyes.

"Babe." he said, leaving me.

"Man, he's smexy. I think I'm having a hot flash." Grandma said.

**Did you catch the Disney reference? Write a review if you did and you get to make descriptions for CIA Agents K, G, and I. Just name the movie. First three win! **


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